After two days of not knowing what my sister, Martha, was thinking about our joint counseling session, she informed me tonight that she isn't going. I'm really not surprised.
But when she actually said the words, my feelings, along with my hopes, were dashed.
After praying and talking with two friends who listened to me ramble on about how I felt, I decided not to confront Martha about her actions yesterday. It's just not a battle I want to fight. And after her decision tonight, I don't think I'll talk to her about any more counseling.
I told her that not going to counseling was her choice, more of my "psycho-babble" as she calls it, and that maybe some day she might change her mind.
This is the second time I've offered to go to counseling with her and the second time she has turned me down. I don't think there'll be a third offer on my part.
The first time I offered to find a counselor and schedule some sessions was after Martha's messy divorce from a real lunatic. She accused me of having an affair with him and all kinds of nasty stuff, all of which were untrue, except the part that I absolutely abhorred her ex-husband. After a horrible argument on Christmas Eve of all times, I asked if she would go to counseling with me and we could work on our relationship. After making all kinds of excuses, she finally refused and I hadn't offered until now.
Because of the choices she's making about handling Mom's condition, when it finally hits her, I'm scared of how she will cope. But, you know, she's going to be 50 years old in about a month and I think she's old enough to make her own choices.
In the meantime, please pray for me that I don't become bitter toward her and don't resent her.
And I still need to choose my battles, because I know there will be more.
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