This is my life now

As if I didn't have enough on my mind, I'm considering the future. If something happens to Mom, what will I do? It's not like I'm really worried about the future, I'm just wondering.
Mom has been the center of my life for a long time now. Even before she became ill, I always came home to her after work and prepared supper. I rarely went out after work with coworkers and even on weekends, I would stay home. I used to volunteer with the Humane Society when they would adopt dogs and cats at the mall, but Mom became so angry when I left her that I had to quit.
And when I was a reporter and the younger reporters wanted to get together after work or on a weekend, I had good intentions of meeting with them, but it seemed Mom always had some type of crisis I had to attend to when I'd come home and couldn't go. It was hard to explain to them that I had different responsibilities than they did at that time of their lives.
So when we went to the Oregon Coast, one of my all time favorite places on Earth, I wondered what it would be like to live there. I lived in Tillamook, Oregon, for about three years and loved it, but if I'm going to be that close to the ocean, I want to be ON the ocean, not near it. And what kind of job would I get? Should I take a chance and begin my own business? If so, what kind of business? And if not, what kind of job?
And is that the right place to go? Is that where God wants me to be?
I know I won't stay in Longview. There's nothing for me here. My sister and I aren't close at all and our relationship will remain the same way. And I really don't care for Longview. I like all the conveniences, but I don't care for living in this town.
I thought about going to Eastern Washington, maybe even back to Colfax, but there's really nothing there for me, except a lot of good memories and that it will always be home. And I don't think I could handle the winters there any more. I thought about moving to Walla Walla, but I don't want to be in the same town as that stupid Mary York, a former friend.
So I'm left with wondering where I will be and what I will be doing.
I guess I better just relax and leave it up to God.