Is time the enemy?

Yesterday, Mom got up and came into the kitchen with no pajama pants on and I don't think any underwear on. I asked her where the rest of her pajamas were and she said she didn't know. We went into the bathroom and there they were on the edge of the tub and they went straight into the washer.
Mom seemed really out of sorts yesterday and could barely communicate at all. She didn't get up until almost noon and it was 12:30 p.m. by the time she had her breakfast. And she slept almost all day, acting like she didn't have the energy to do anything.
Today Mom came out of the bathroom with just jeans and an undershirt on, without her glasses and without washing her face or brushing her teeth. We went into the bathroom and I helped her wash her face and brush her teeth. As I put toothpaste on her toothbrush, she claimed it wasn't her toothbrush, that it was someone else's. I said no, it was hers and it was okay to use it.
God, how I hate this damned disease.
I just want to ask someone, anyone, WHERE IS MY MOM? Because this woman here living with me isn't my Mom. She may look like my Mom and her voice sounds like Mom's, but she isn't my Mom any more.
And as time marches on, Mom gets more and more strange to me every day. She has a hard time communicating at all any more. Her words come out all jumbled and don't make much sense. I am having a more difficult time trying to guess what Mom is trying to say, which frustrates both of us. When Mom gets really frustrated, she pulls a little of her hair. And she's acting more and more like a child every day. When I say something is out of place or dirty or whatever, Mom will say, "I didn't do it!" I remember saying that to Mom all the time. Talk about role reversal!
I am reading yet another book about Alzheimer's entitled "Learning to Speak Alzheimer's." I think it's giving me more tools to deal with Mom's illness than anything else and by giving me these tools, I feel more empowered, more like I'm doing something instead of not being able to do anything. It's just giving me more insight about what Mom might be feeling and experiencing. I feel like I might be able to understand what Mom is going through more.
I still feel guilty about filling out the paperwork for Canterbury Gardens. I hope I never have to go there to visit Mom.
And I still pray for God cradle her in His arms to take my Mom home soon. That is my wish and prayer.