Making the list

God is so good to me.
Since coming home from my college reunion in mid-July, it seems to me like this Mom I'm taking care of is slipping away day after day, not only mentally but physically.
She is losing weight. Her body seems to be drawing itself inward. It's hard to describe, it might be the osteoporosis, but not only is Mom hunching over, which is typical osteoporosis, it seems like her shoulders are shrugging forward. Her appetite is not the same - she's not eating her usual oatmeal like she used to. I've added bananas, and cinnamon and sugar, to change the flavor somewhat, but she still is not eating it. She's drinking her milk every morning and eating just one piece of toast instead of her usual two pieces. And supper is getting to be a real challenge. Unless it's plain meat and potatoes, or a hamburger with bacon and cheese on it, she absolutely will not eat. I am watching her carefully as she eats, because sometimes I think it's hard for her to swallow. More and more often, she forgets how to take her pills.
Mentally, she is barely able to communicate at all. She cannot describe things, she can't tell how she feels and if she hurts somewhere, it's a real guessing game about exactly where she's hurting or if she really is. She is getting more stubborn and argues with me more often. She has a thing about wearing panties now and I really have to watch her to make sure she's got some on, because sometimes after going to the bathroom, she takes them off and just puts her jeans or pajamas back on.
She doesn't know the next door neighbor any more and I'm still not sure she knows me. She has begun wanting to go outside, especially in the afternoons, and imagines there are children outside she needs to take care of or someone down the street she must see or a store she must go to.
Even though I've lost my Mom a while ago, this physical Mom is fading fast and I'm just getting the feeling that I won't have her around too much longer. Now, in God's time, that might be a year or two, or even longer than that, but I really feel like He is preparing me for when Mom leaves me for good.
One of those preparations is making a list.
I am a list-making machine. I make lists for grocery shopping, I make lists when I go on errands, I make lists of daily chores, I make lists for any trips I take. Now I must make another list.
When something happens to Mom (I used to say "if" something happens to Mom), I'll have to make phone calls, hopefully from here at home. My sincere prayer is that I will walk in Mom's bedroom one morning and she will be gone. And it occurred to me last night that I should start making a list of people I need to call when something happens to Mom. I know that this is God working in my life. When something does happen, I know I will not have the power to think, let alone contact people, but with my list, I won't have to think, I can just go down the list of names.
So today, I am beginning my list, trying to be prepared for when I won't have Mom any longer. It's not going to be an easy list to make, but it's a necessary one.