The trip

The good thing about traveling with an Alzheimer's patient is that everything is new. The bad thing about traveling with an Alzheimer's patient is that everything is new.

We had a safe trip to Pacific City, Oregon, although it rained on us almost the whole way to our destination. We traveled along the Oregon Coast Highway, or U.S 101, which allows travelers to see magnificent views of the Pacific Ocean, the waves crashing against the rocky shores. Unless there's dense fog and then you can't see a darned thing. That was the case on this trip.

Being born and raised in Eastern Washington, it was always a real treat for us to go to the ocean. We always used to play this game of who could see the ocean first. Keeping an ever vigilant eye, my sister and I would try to beat each other at this game. On the way to Cannon Beach, we would always spot the ocean at about Ecola Park. But not on this day. We actually didn't see any ocean until we arrived at Pacific City and looked out our third floor window. We wouldn't have seen anything then but it was high tide and the waves were close to us.

Although Mom and I have visited Pacific City many times and stayed at the Inn at Cape Kiwanda, she couldn't remember, but thought the room was lovely and the view wonderful. That was my main goal - to let her have a memorable trip.

I helped Mom unpack. She is most comfortable with everything in its place in a chest of drawers, so I helped organize her clothing and hang up some of her clothes.

The next morning, we were greeted by bright sunshine all day long. It got a tad above 70 degrees, and it even got quite warm in our room, but we didn't care. We sat out on our lanai, watched all the beachcombers, dogs, campers and about a dozen surfer dudes all day long. Then we enjoyed a fabulous sunset. Mom seemed content, but had a little problem when she wanted to take the dog on a potty break. I told her I could watch her and she had gone for a little walk with me just a couple hours before. When several minutes had passed with no sign of the dog or Mom, I was just about at the door when there was a knock. It was Mom accompanied by one of the desk clerks. Mom became confused as she got to the lobby and finally asked the clerk for help. It was yet another lesson for me about what Mom can't do. And also another realization about how bad she's really getting.

I also got another wake-up call. I went into the bathroom and there was poop on the toilet seat. I was mortified because I thought I had done it. After washing it off, as I sat on the commode, I noticed poopy wads of toilet paper in the trash basket and realized Mom had done it. I asked her about it a few minutes later and she told me she just couldn't remember what to do with the paper. I told her it's just like home, so put dirty paper in the toilet, not the trash.

Another nice day put us in a traveling mood and so we went through Lincoln City and Depoe Bay to Otter Crest and the Devil's Punchbowl. Mom didn't remember any of the familiar places we had been so many times before, so as we travelled, I tried to jog her memory. Sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn't.

It was very windy at the Punchbowl, which made the waves on the incoming tide crash on the rocks below our vantage point. After we walked and peered over the fence to the rocks below, we decided to head back. As I started to back up, Mom asked me to go the other way. The parking area just makes a small circle so I asked what other way and she said many times, "You know, the other way where you can see the other side." I still don't know what she meant, but after we returned to the inn, she said it sure was a shame we didn't get to see the whole thing. Sigh.

Each night as she got ready for bed, I had to direct her which drawer held her pajamas, her undies and where her toothpaste was. And each morning, I had to show her where her clothes were and where the toothpaste was.

We were to stay four nights, but on our third morning, my little poodle had blood in her stool and we cancelled the rest of our trip and hurried home to the vet. Mom was very good, although I took over all the packing. We got home late this afternoon, after the vet said it was nothing serious and sent us home with medication.

After supper and dishes were done, I finally got to relax as Mom got ready for bed. She came in to say goodnight and a few minutes later, she came into the living room with a Macy's shopping bag. She sat it in front of me and pulled out a clean undershirt and a pair of socks. I asked what she was doing and all she said was, "This is all I had." I asked what else was in the bag and she pulled out several pairs of the disposable panties she wears every night. As she started to put them back in the bag, I said they don't belong in the bag and she became very defiant and told me they were going to stay in the bag if she wanted them there. And then I lost my temper. I grabbed the panties, yelled they were not going back in the bag, and proceeded to put them in their proper place so she can find them every night. Of course she got angry and then I felt guilty for yelling, but I was at the absolute end of my rope.

I wonder why she does these weird things at night? Is it some kind of cycle that folks with Alzheimer's go through?

Yet another lesson learned. And although this trip was for Mom, I did get to be at the beach and after Mom would go to bed and before she woke up, I did get some private time.

I don't know when or IF we'll get to the beach again, but at least I know Mom had a good time. And perhaps she'll remember it for a while.