It started snowing a while ago. First, tiny flakes barely visible as they fell, and eventually growing bigger and bigger as flakes tumble to the ground, blanketing everything in white. It's lovely to watch from inside a warm, cozy home, knowing I don't have to drive in it. And that's one advantage of taking care of Mom - I don't have to worry about commuting to work on Monday morning when the forecast calls for more snow!
I had a difficult morning yesterday. I went to the grocery store to stock up in case of snow. I always take a list, and always have a spending limit, usually with a little leeway. But yesterday there was no leeway, no cushion I could rely on. I had $50 to spend and a $50 gift card from my sister who had already given us $100. The most expensive things on my list were a package of disposable panties for Mom, Vitamin D for Mom and a small turkey or turkey breast. And I had to put some gas in the tank.
So with coupons and list in hand, I shopped. I left the turkey for last since I didn't know how much everything would cost. I ran a running estimate in my head and when I came to the turkey, I realized I couldn't get one. I had purchased everything for the stuffing a little at a time during the past month, so I was all set for stuffing. Now I just needed the bird. This very hard for me to share because I am a very proud person and very independent. As I looked at the prices of the turkeys and even just turkey breasts, I realized we couldn't afford it. Even though we're invited to friends for dinner on Thanksgiving, I usually cook a small stuffed turkey so we can have our own leftovers. But not this year. Please don't misunderstand - I am very thankful for what Mom and I have. We have meat in the freezer and we can have regular satisfying meals, unlike many people who go hungry. I am thankful for so much in my life, that I don't want to seem ungrateful for all our blessings. It's the absence of our own turkey that is hard to take. As I unpacked all the groceries at home, with the pantry well stocked and our freezer nearly full, I realized I was truly blessed to be able to purchase as much as I had. In a few days, when we get our checks from the farm, I'll get to buy a turkey and cook it then and be very grateful for it. Probably more grateful than I've ever been.
God is teaching me so much as I walk this journey. I couldn't make this journey without Him. I am being humbled and being taught what the really important things in life are, Love being the most important.
Thank You, Father.
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